I live my life as though I am one big experiment. See, if I’m an experiment, I can’t expect to get things right. It takes a load of stress off me because experiments aren’t about getting it right. They’re about discovery. What better way to look at life than as a big project of self-discovery where right and wrong don’t matter?
I’m not talking moral choices of right and wrong, to be clear. Sure there are the rare few who do “bad” things just to feel what it’s like, but that’s out of character for me. I’m referring to what’s right and wrong as personal choices. Like, how do I want to live my life? Make a living? Spend my time with? Make a life?
I see the path that I’ve walked to this point as a giant spiral, slowly turning in, moving closer and closer to the center of… me. My core self, I suppose. I spot the same sights over and over as I move, and by sights I mean issues/life challenges. At each turn, though, I see them from a different perspective and with different experiences under my belt. So, in essence, I learn the same things about myself over and over, but each time the learning is more in-depth and nuanced.
I imagine some would think that sort of relearning is too tedious. And reading it over, it sounds it. Or maybe that I’m incredibly hard headed because I, apparently, need to get clobbered by the same life lesson time after time before I finally learn. There’s at least a grain of truth in that, too, most likely.
Ultimately, though, this is the form my life has taken. I don’t see a need to fight it. So I’ll just keep moving in this life’s spiral, experimenting and filling my days with discovery.
I can think of worse ways to spend my time…